Thought I would do a short segment about an illness which is never seen, but felt by the person suffering from it.
No, it isn't me, but my other half (and many others across the UK and the globe).
He was diagnosed with it in 2007, he has good days, but most of time he has bad days.
This is a little segment about the ones who (not deal with it) but have to watch them suffer.
After much pestering back in 2007 he finally went to the doc's and after loads of hassle, tests and the doc putting him on anti-depressants, finally the diagnosis was M.E./CFS (I can never remember what the M.E. stands for, but CFS stands for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
It isn't nice to watch a person struggle each day to try and do 'normal' stuff, like potter to the shop or even try to get out of bed. Yes I know I am moaning lol!
This condition can last a lifetime, or a matter of ten years ish!
No one knows what the future holds, beware!
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Monday, 8 October 2012
Stepping into Dean's world
Evening fellow readers/people.
I hope all is well?
I'm (as usual) eating, minstrels this time and drinking grape soda, the grape soda reminds me of chewing gum I used to be hooked on.
Okay, so this week we are not entering my world (I'm sure you've all had enough lol), this time I am taking you into Dean's world. This world is both brilliant and yet sometimes terrifying.
As a toddler he had a fit of some sort, overnight stay in hospital, tests etc, but nothing. It was a one off fit and hasn't had one since. Thing is since then it has ocurred to me on many ocassions did this fit cause some possible imbalance in Dean's brain?
I know that you (yes you) the reader will or may think 'Oh you're over reacting.' Well read on and I shall explain further.
In some ways it is hard to explain, it was (at first) little things like wanting things in certain places and not liking it if they were moved, I couldn't even move them to vac. Anyway that phase passed within 6 months and I thought nothing more of it.
Soon as he went into infants, the worry came creeping back. He refused to do his work or never finished it (I'm not making up excuses, I'm telling you the reader how it was), he would get upset over nothing and scream wildly.
After much pain and constant nagging, he finally decided to pick up the pace a bit, that didn't last for long and continued into Year 4 (juniors), so one to one tuition came into play, to try help his concentration, slowly but surely he has improved and at the mo is only slightly behind where he should be. His attitude to school isn't the problem, it's what he is like at home that get's me rattled.
The slightest thing agitates him, (i know you're all thinking, it's normal kid behaviour, it will pass) and when we tell him off for doing something wrong which he knows is wrong, his face goes red, followed by tears followed by head butting the door or wall, whichever is nearest. Every now and again he will hit himself on the head so hard he loses balance, now he has the routine of either scratching his skin to pieces or slapping his arm so hard even you feel the sting. Bet you are still thinking this is normal, right? Wrong, it doesn't feel normal. And he calls himself every name under the sun when in this mood. Not only does it feel scary it makes you feel helpless.
When he is in this mood, the only way to get through to him is to let him calm down followed by a hug and then having to explain over and over again that he cannot do that to himself because it may cause serious damage, followed by us re-going over what he did wrong and where he should have stopped, Dean has no limits at all when he gets to that stage.
He really is ultra bright but I feel like he is a volcano, waiting to explode at any given time.
I think it was last year, when we took him to the doctors, told him all about what Dean does and the doctor said, it has to be referred by school to a place and he can't do anything, which at the time I thought was a load of hog wash and bull shit. So I left it at that and decided that the 'Pro's' don't seem to know if they are coming or going. Me and Brian will somehow deal with this.
We asked for help and got told to sod off. When we mentioned it to school and his teacher, they shrugged it off too, which is fair play because he never does it at school, only at home.
Music, reading, writing are all my therapies. If only life was so easy, mind you it wouldn't be a challenge then would it???
So you've all glimpsed into a tiny part of Dean's world, I see it alot.
I'm now going to bake a double chocolate cake with orange, another brilliant way to unwind lol.
Thought for the week - Look past the front cover and see what hides beneath, you never quite know what you will find :-)
I hope all is well?
I'm (as usual) eating, minstrels this time and drinking grape soda, the grape soda reminds me of chewing gum I used to be hooked on.
Okay, so this week we are not entering my world (I'm sure you've all had enough lol), this time I am taking you into Dean's world. This world is both brilliant and yet sometimes terrifying.
As a toddler he had a fit of some sort, overnight stay in hospital, tests etc, but nothing. It was a one off fit and hasn't had one since. Thing is since then it has ocurred to me on many ocassions did this fit cause some possible imbalance in Dean's brain?
I know that you (yes you) the reader will or may think 'Oh you're over reacting.' Well read on and I shall explain further.
In some ways it is hard to explain, it was (at first) little things like wanting things in certain places and not liking it if they were moved, I couldn't even move them to vac. Anyway that phase passed within 6 months and I thought nothing more of it.
Soon as he went into infants, the worry came creeping back. He refused to do his work or never finished it (I'm not making up excuses, I'm telling you the reader how it was), he would get upset over nothing and scream wildly.
After much pain and constant nagging, he finally decided to pick up the pace a bit, that didn't last for long and continued into Year 4 (juniors), so one to one tuition came into play, to try help his concentration, slowly but surely he has improved and at the mo is only slightly behind where he should be. His attitude to school isn't the problem, it's what he is like at home that get's me rattled.
The slightest thing agitates him, (i know you're all thinking, it's normal kid behaviour, it will pass) and when we tell him off for doing something wrong which he knows is wrong, his face goes red, followed by tears followed by head butting the door or wall, whichever is nearest. Every now and again he will hit himself on the head so hard he loses balance, now he has the routine of either scratching his skin to pieces or slapping his arm so hard even you feel the sting. Bet you are still thinking this is normal, right? Wrong, it doesn't feel normal. And he calls himself every name under the sun when in this mood. Not only does it feel scary it makes you feel helpless.
When he is in this mood, the only way to get through to him is to let him calm down followed by a hug and then having to explain over and over again that he cannot do that to himself because it may cause serious damage, followed by us re-going over what he did wrong and where he should have stopped, Dean has no limits at all when he gets to that stage.
He really is ultra bright but I feel like he is a volcano, waiting to explode at any given time.
I think it was last year, when we took him to the doctors, told him all about what Dean does and the doctor said, it has to be referred by school to a place and he can't do anything, which at the time I thought was a load of hog wash and bull shit. So I left it at that and decided that the 'Pro's' don't seem to know if they are coming or going. Me and Brian will somehow deal with this.
We asked for help and got told to sod off. When we mentioned it to school and his teacher, they shrugged it off too, which is fair play because he never does it at school, only at home.
Music, reading, writing are all my therapies. If only life was so easy, mind you it wouldn't be a challenge then would it???
So you've all glimpsed into a tiny part of Dean's world, I see it alot.
I'm now going to bake a double chocolate cake with orange, another brilliant way to unwind lol.
Thought for the week - Look past the front cover and see what hides beneath, you never quite know what you will find :-)
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
A new week
Okay, hello folks.
It's late Wednesday night (9.30pm), I'm settled down with a malibu n coke, Russell Howard's good news and obviously me blog lol.
Over the past week, (mind you it has occured to me quite a few years ago) that the world is such a dangerous place, so much (the word isn't evil) more like cruel and unforgiving. There is so much that can be wrong and to be fair - is wrong. Children been abducted for some unknown reason only to turn up either years later looking dishevelled and obviously out of touch with the world, or in most cases turn up dead. A waste of a life that could have been great.
I've heard alot of people talking about bringing back the death penalty recently. There are as always 2 sides to this story/issue. There are those who tihnk bringing it back will instill fear to those who wanna do wrong (murder rape etc) and see it as the only option this world has. To a very small extent I agree, here is my reason/view - it may deter future idiots from causing chaos, but..... I know people won't agree with me and that's fair play - they should languish in an old style prison where manual labour and repetative tasks.
But there again each solution causes more issues than solutions, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
For me parts of the crap in this world are too confusing and the solutions are either too complicated, maybe one day a solution will be found, until then chaos is always around the corner.
I must however admit there is a simple beauty in the world, just look around past the chaos, past the smoke and mirrors and the red tape and I'm sure you will find a small piece of the greatness this world has to offer. For me these are simple things that only time can change - the hills surrounding me, a smile from a child, laughter, silence and somehow knowing there are good people in the world, their is light.
Onto another subject lol!!
There are times when I feel like an observer of the world, like I'm not really part of it, almost like sitting on the fence watching a match going on. And yes I'm a tad unsociable pmsfl.
In all honesty I love to observe, so much to learn from just watching people going about their lives, I often find myself wondering if their lives have turned out the way they want? Or how much heart ache they carry, are they happy and what are they really thinking.
TOLD YOU I WAS STRANGE!!! HA HA HA
I'm not perfect I agree, but the world isn't perfect, so everyone in it isn't either lol. The creatures are and landscapes :p
Now about my writing, you know books etc.... haven't done much over the past month, too busy revising for my resit. Soon as resit is done, the following day it's back to writing and signing up for nanowrimo, hell knows how I shall manage, 50,000 words in 30 days, I desperatle need my imagination? Wonder if to try a steamy romantic theme this time? Just to see how far I get. What do you guys n gals think? Good idea? Bad idea?
I'm sooo tired all the time, my body is tired, my mind is tired even my soul is tired, too much devastation, too much to handle and I'm just tired. maybe one day I will find my place again, find that spark again and feel free once again (dont take that the wrong way lol, I mean it) like this - free as in, I dont feel tired and feel alive once again.
HALLOWEEN 28 DAYS AWAY!!
That's it from my end of the scale, I hope you all have a fab week and here is my thought for the week - when life throws you a curve ball, bat it back with all your might x x x
It's late Wednesday night (9.30pm), I'm settled down with a malibu n coke, Russell Howard's good news and obviously me blog lol.
Over the past week, (mind you it has occured to me quite a few years ago) that the world is such a dangerous place, so much (the word isn't evil) more like cruel and unforgiving. There is so much that can be wrong and to be fair - is wrong. Children been abducted for some unknown reason only to turn up either years later looking dishevelled and obviously out of touch with the world, or in most cases turn up dead. A waste of a life that could have been great.
I've heard alot of people talking about bringing back the death penalty recently. There are as always 2 sides to this story/issue. There are those who tihnk bringing it back will instill fear to those who wanna do wrong (murder rape etc) and see it as the only option this world has. To a very small extent I agree, here is my reason/view - it may deter future idiots from causing chaos, but..... I know people won't agree with me and that's fair play - they should languish in an old style prison where manual labour and repetative tasks.
But there again each solution causes more issues than solutions, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
For me parts of the crap in this world are too confusing and the solutions are either too complicated, maybe one day a solution will be found, until then chaos is always around the corner.
I must however admit there is a simple beauty in the world, just look around past the chaos, past the smoke and mirrors and the red tape and I'm sure you will find a small piece of the greatness this world has to offer. For me these are simple things that only time can change - the hills surrounding me, a smile from a child, laughter, silence and somehow knowing there are good people in the world, their is light.
Onto another subject lol!!
There are times when I feel like an observer of the world, like I'm not really part of it, almost like sitting on the fence watching a match going on. And yes I'm a tad unsociable pmsfl.
In all honesty I love to observe, so much to learn from just watching people going about their lives, I often find myself wondering if their lives have turned out the way they want? Or how much heart ache they carry, are they happy and what are they really thinking.
TOLD YOU I WAS STRANGE!!! HA HA HA
I'm not perfect I agree, but the world isn't perfect, so everyone in it isn't either lol. The creatures are and landscapes :p
Now about my writing, you know books etc.... haven't done much over the past month, too busy revising for my resit. Soon as resit is done, the following day it's back to writing and signing up for nanowrimo, hell knows how I shall manage, 50,000 words in 30 days, I desperatle need my imagination? Wonder if to try a steamy romantic theme this time? Just to see how far I get. What do you guys n gals think? Good idea? Bad idea?
I'm sooo tired all the time, my body is tired, my mind is tired even my soul is tired, too much devastation, too much to handle and I'm just tired. maybe one day I will find my place again, find that spark again and feel free once again (dont take that the wrong way lol, I mean it) like this - free as in, I dont feel tired and feel alive once again.
HALLOWEEN 28 DAYS AWAY!!
That's it from my end of the scale, I hope you all have a fab week and here is my thought for the week - when life throws you a curve ball, bat it back with all your might x x x
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