Morning peeps,
hope all is better in your world than it is in mine?
This new ESA system is shite, once again they fuck people over and now I'm really pissed off.
I job hunt every day, sometimes I even apply for jobs I ain't qualified for, you never hear a thing back.
Anyway to the point - the new system has put my other half down as single, so that means £140 a fortnight all because someone changed the information at their end, they're sending out the paperwork/form that needs to be filled in, which will be here next week, well what fucking good is that? Then it has to be sent back, yet on the other system it's down as he is claiming for 4. What effing sense does that make?
I'm really mad, upset and quite frankly pissed off. Yes I know it does no good to be those things, but when you're been arsed fucked by the government, there's not alot else you can do.
Anyways onto other news - I had a job interview on friday and will find out if I have got the job by this friday. Hope to hell I get it, right now we could do with some luck and I could do with earning my way in this world.
I'm about to edit my book, to take my mind off this morning's events.
Have a fab day all.
X
Monday, 11 March 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
In the face of.....???
Wow, it has been around two weeks since my last blog on my personal stuff lol.
I do hope all is well?
As the title suggests, in the face of?
Well it all feels like an uphill haul, I was actually tempted to put adversity, then realised that was a step too far, as it isn't all bad.
Going to do some editing after this.
The past fortnight has dragged to be honest, things have all but stopped, life really isn't going far right now. But the optimist within sees this period as a challenge. And of change, a change only I can make, no one else will do it for me, weight is placed on me and it is my burden to bare.
Editing needs to seriously speed up, but at the same time I have to take my time, otherwise there will be errors, mistakes and this may put off potential publishers.
No wonder I write alot, I can escape the drear reality and plunge myself into another world. I know, you think I'm deluded right? Wrong, it is the place where I can make sense of the world and for one moment, forget who I am.
As my good friend Nat will tell you, writing isn't just therapy, it's a way of life, someday soon we will get there, not that we expect things to be easy, but a break in the clouds would be ideal.
No matter what happens in life, the storms, the sun and the rain, there's always a helping hand, somewhere near by.
Let's hope I don't feel this gloomy next week lol
Nadine x
I do hope all is well?
As the title suggests, in the face of?
Well it all feels like an uphill haul, I was actually tempted to put adversity, then realised that was a step too far, as it isn't all bad.
Going to do some editing after this.
The past fortnight has dragged to be honest, things have all but stopped, life really isn't going far right now. But the optimist within sees this period as a challenge. And of change, a change only I can make, no one else will do it for me, weight is placed on me and it is my burden to bare.
Editing needs to seriously speed up, but at the same time I have to take my time, otherwise there will be errors, mistakes and this may put off potential publishers.
No wonder I write alot, I can escape the drear reality and plunge myself into another world. I know, you think I'm deluded right? Wrong, it is the place where I can make sense of the world and for one moment, forget who I am.
As my good friend Nat will tell you, writing isn't just therapy, it's a way of life, someday soon we will get there, not that we expect things to be easy, but a break in the clouds would be ideal.
No matter what happens in life, the storms, the sun and the rain, there's always a helping hand, somewhere near by.
Let's hope I don't feel this gloomy next week lol
Nadine x
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Personal blog: Writing - a curse? a gift? Or something completely...
Personal blog: Writing - a curse? a gift? Or something completely...: Hello peeps, I hope all is well with you today? It has been a busy week and the denstist pain right now hurts lol! Yes it was the dreaded...
Writing - a curse? a gift? Or something completely unique?
Hello peeps,
I hope all is well with you today?
It has been a busy week and the denstist pain right now hurts lol! Yes it was the dreaded dentist this morning, step one of two, temp cap, with my new crown ready in 2 weeks time, doesn't sound painful does it? Until now lol, - get numbed, teeth checked, shave bad tooth down until there is a third left, then it is mould time, then glue temp cap on and out the door! Blooming jaw ache too thanks to the pressure the dentist exerted, mind you I suppose it was a necessary evil.
Monday was a snow day, the kids had an unexpected day off school, which meant chaos for us.
Tuesday we went to Halifax to pick a relative up from Hospital, glad to know he is home, though it will take time to get back to normal.
Wednesday I met my mum then went to my Auntie's new place.
Thursday Amelia went to hospital to have bloods done.
The rest felt like an utter blur.
Right onto the title subject, obviously as the title suggests, is writing a gift? A curse? Or something unique?
I guess that depends upon your point of view.
Over the years, this question has been bugging me. Had someone asked me this question 15yrs ago, I would have replied the following without hesitation - 'It's a curse, not worth a diddle.'
At that moment in time, I had begun to turn my back my poetry and anything to do with writing in general.
Not only had I found it a waste of time, but perhaps I was equally depressed and angry at the world.
Even as I was going through this phase, the question constantly whirred away inside my head.
Now a days, I see writing as both a gift and an escape route. Yes I can see you thinking - 'Anyone can write, so why call it a gift?' Well to answer that question, here is my answer - it is true that anyone can write, but with a true writer it takes - imagination, grit, eye for detail and never giving up, this is the sign of a true writer. Whether it be as a poet, screen writer author etc....
Maybe experience also plays a part, to have wandered down life's path - making mistakes, laughing crying, losing, winning, learning and most of all - love. Maybe that is what makes a writer 'Great'?
Back to where we were. I think I have explained how writing can be a gift. It truly is a marvel to conjur something up out of thin air and make it your own.
Writing can be (it is for me) an escape route from the mundane reality of day to day life.
It (writing) allows me to take and relive the greatest parts of my life, especially my childhood moments. Or even let's me take a trip back down memory lane to once again see my loved ones who have long since passed away.
In doing this it causes me both pleasure and pain, pleasure as it makes me smile. laugh and appreciate the good times. Pain because it brings back the fact they are no longer around.
Here is an example - Grandad Sid when he lived in his first floor flat (Uncle Brendan lived in the ground floor flat), staying there and sticking half my body out of his sash window to look at Blackpool tower all lit up, my dad shouting at me to get back in before I fell out, or how Grandad Sid used to always buy me Juicy fruit chewing gum.
I am what I am. I do what I do. If you don't like it, walk out that door. This sums me up perfectly.
Somehow writing is a calling, whether we as writers know it or not.
So, what's your opinion? Is writing a gift? A curse? Or something unique?
Thoughts for the week - discover something new and be proud of who you are, you are unique and
Never walk past an open door, opportunities are lost and we may never see that door open again.
I'll let you ponder over that.
See you next week :-)
I hope all is well with you today?
It has been a busy week and the denstist pain right now hurts lol! Yes it was the dreaded dentist this morning, step one of two, temp cap, with my new crown ready in 2 weeks time, doesn't sound painful does it? Until now lol, - get numbed, teeth checked, shave bad tooth down until there is a third left, then it is mould time, then glue temp cap on and out the door! Blooming jaw ache too thanks to the pressure the dentist exerted, mind you I suppose it was a necessary evil.
Monday was a snow day, the kids had an unexpected day off school, which meant chaos for us.
Tuesday we went to Halifax to pick a relative up from Hospital, glad to know he is home, though it will take time to get back to normal.
Wednesday I met my mum then went to my Auntie's new place.
Thursday Amelia went to hospital to have bloods done.
The rest felt like an utter blur.
Right onto the title subject, obviously as the title suggests, is writing a gift? A curse? Or something unique?
I guess that depends upon your point of view.
Over the years, this question has been bugging me. Had someone asked me this question 15yrs ago, I would have replied the following without hesitation - 'It's a curse, not worth a diddle.'
At that moment in time, I had begun to turn my back my poetry and anything to do with writing in general.
Not only had I found it a waste of time, but perhaps I was equally depressed and angry at the world.
Even as I was going through this phase, the question constantly whirred away inside my head.
Now a days, I see writing as both a gift and an escape route. Yes I can see you thinking - 'Anyone can write, so why call it a gift?' Well to answer that question, here is my answer - it is true that anyone can write, but with a true writer it takes - imagination, grit, eye for detail and never giving up, this is the sign of a true writer. Whether it be as a poet, screen writer author etc....
Maybe experience also plays a part, to have wandered down life's path - making mistakes, laughing crying, losing, winning, learning and most of all - love. Maybe that is what makes a writer 'Great'?
Back to where we were. I think I have explained how writing can be a gift. It truly is a marvel to conjur something up out of thin air and make it your own.
Writing can be (it is for me) an escape route from the mundane reality of day to day life.
It (writing) allows me to take and relive the greatest parts of my life, especially my childhood moments. Or even let's me take a trip back down memory lane to once again see my loved ones who have long since passed away.
In doing this it causes me both pleasure and pain, pleasure as it makes me smile. laugh and appreciate the good times. Pain because it brings back the fact they are no longer around.
Here is an example - Grandad Sid when he lived in his first floor flat (Uncle Brendan lived in the ground floor flat), staying there and sticking half my body out of his sash window to look at Blackpool tower all lit up, my dad shouting at me to get back in before I fell out, or how Grandad Sid used to always buy me Juicy fruit chewing gum.
I am what I am. I do what I do. If you don't like it, walk out that door. This sums me up perfectly.
Somehow writing is a calling, whether we as writers know it or not.
So, what's your opinion? Is writing a gift? A curse? Or something unique?
Thoughts for the week - discover something new and be proud of who you are, you are unique and
Never walk past an open door, opportunities are lost and we may never see that door open again.
I'll let you ponder over that.
See you next week :-)
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Winter wonderland lol
Hey everyone.
Hope you are all having a good week so far?
Here it is winter wonderland and ice ville lol.
The week gone has produced both good and bad.
Good in the sign of progress and bad in the family wise region, but all has turned out okay in the end, the sun shone for a time this afternoon so I take this as a good omen.
It is always nice to help out family members where and when I can, I never expect anything in return and when I'm finished being needed, I thus return to the shadows until time calls for me again. Thankyou to Brian too, without him today's excursion/help would not have occured.
Editing is no go lol, managed to do a little bit but not alot. Really need to crack on with it, I need to make time, otherwise this book will go no-where fast :(.
I feel drained, exhausted and completely at a loss, mainly due to me not being well and having no idea what is going on. It could be down to lack of iron and possibly a number of other things, but that I do not know.
I do know, however - I need to trudge on, keep my head down and ride the storm, because every cloud has a silver lining, though that's hard to see right now, I'm still stuck in some dark place, trying my damndest to not ground out :-).
Have a fab week peeps.
Xxxx
Hope you are all having a good week so far?
Here it is winter wonderland and ice ville lol.
The week gone has produced both good and bad.
Good in the sign of progress and bad in the family wise region, but all has turned out okay in the end, the sun shone for a time this afternoon so I take this as a good omen.
It is always nice to help out family members where and when I can, I never expect anything in return and when I'm finished being needed, I thus return to the shadows until time calls for me again. Thankyou to Brian too, without him today's excursion/help would not have occured.
Editing is no go lol, managed to do a little bit but not alot. Really need to crack on with it, I need to make time, otherwise this book will go no-where fast :(.
I feel drained, exhausted and completely at a loss, mainly due to me not being well and having no idea what is going on. It could be down to lack of iron and possibly a number of other things, but that I do not know.
I do know, however - I need to trudge on, keep my head down and ride the storm, because every cloud has a silver lining, though that's hard to see right now, I'm still stuck in some dark place, trying my damndest to not ground out :-).
Have a fab week peeps.
Xxxx
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Chaos, sorry this blog is late!
Afternoon everyone.
Hope all is well?
Sat here drinking a coffee, looking at the leaden skies and obviously writing this. And have a lovely light yankee scent to penetrate this drear atmosphere.
It has felt chaotic in this house and never seem to catch a break.
Editing has gone no-where so far I have been able to do about half an hour's worth in 10 days, which isn't good as I should have been further on by now. I don't blame anyone but myself and the lack of time I've had to try and get on, next week or even on Sunday I really need to get going with editing.
I'm constantly tired and irritable and moody! And the situation here at home hit an all time low Sunday evening, late actually, around 11pm. I won't go into detail yet, but put it this way, it's stressful, annoying, heartbreaking and draining all at the same time. All I will say is Amelia had a serious meltdown 11pm Sunday night.
Dean's behaviour is constantly up and down, he doesn't seem to see inherant dangers with simple things such as crossing a road. I'm pushing on with his reading maths and english, but I won't push him too far as I know he snaps like an elastic band.
I know I can't moan but I could (as could Brian) do with a little break and the kids a break away from one another just for a day, which thankfully is happening this weekend, Amelia is going to brians parents saturday on her own, so that should be a nice break for her, then sunday its just me and her, because brian and dean are out for the day.
No wonder I look older than 30 (i was gonna say 300 haha), stress etc... makes me age lol!
I'm signing off for now, hopefully I will update this blog more often than I currently am doing.
Have a good week peeps :-)
Hope all is well?
Sat here drinking a coffee, looking at the leaden skies and obviously writing this. And have a lovely light yankee scent to penetrate this drear atmosphere.
It has felt chaotic in this house and never seem to catch a break.
Editing has gone no-where so far I have been able to do about half an hour's worth in 10 days, which isn't good as I should have been further on by now. I don't blame anyone but myself and the lack of time I've had to try and get on, next week or even on Sunday I really need to get going with editing.
I'm constantly tired and irritable and moody! And the situation here at home hit an all time low Sunday evening, late actually, around 11pm. I won't go into detail yet, but put it this way, it's stressful, annoying, heartbreaking and draining all at the same time. All I will say is Amelia had a serious meltdown 11pm Sunday night.
Dean's behaviour is constantly up and down, he doesn't seem to see inherant dangers with simple things such as crossing a road. I'm pushing on with his reading maths and english, but I won't push him too far as I know he snaps like an elastic band.
I know I can't moan but I could (as could Brian) do with a little break and the kids a break away from one another just for a day, which thankfully is happening this weekend, Amelia is going to brians parents saturday on her own, so that should be a nice break for her, then sunday its just me and her, because brian and dean are out for the day.
No wonder I look older than 30 (i was gonna say 300 haha), stress etc... makes me age lol!
I'm signing off for now, hopefully I will update this blog more often than I currently am doing.
Have a good week peeps :-)
Saturday, 5 January 2013
2013 new start, Im on a mission
Happy 2013 people, hope it brings you a step closer to achieving whatever dreams you have.
Going to try and do a weekly personal blog for 2013, which will track my progress or lack of lol and basically keep me sane.
Here we had a good Christmas, Amelia got a new bike with the money she was given and Dean went for a huge Lego train set!
New Years Eve was normal, though I couldn't sleep. And since Amelia has her new bike I now want a bike, sad I know but oh so true.
The song that will see me through the year is - Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway. This song resonates so much for me, in the sense of I have to stop being negative and just go for it, no matter how long it takes me to achieve.
Will have to discuss something with my co-author about possibly setting up a facebook page for our book, basically so we can keep folk up to date with the latest news and how things are progressing. We shall see.
This year is about getting on with editing the first book, getting it upto scratch and sending it off by the end of August, soon as that is done, time for more editing. It is going to be full on and needs commitment from me, which obviously it will get along with job hunting (though I have found volunteer work) and normal home duties, which okay it maybe challenging but I'm not afraid to dive in and get mucky lol.
Okay I'm going to go grab some dinner before finishing reading - Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, which is amazing.
Have a fab week people and I will see you next Saturday x x
Going to try and do a weekly personal blog for 2013, which will track my progress or lack of lol and basically keep me sane.
Here we had a good Christmas, Amelia got a new bike with the money she was given and Dean went for a huge Lego train set!
New Years Eve was normal, though I couldn't sleep. And since Amelia has her new bike I now want a bike, sad I know but oh so true.
The song that will see me through the year is - Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway. This song resonates so much for me, in the sense of I have to stop being negative and just go for it, no matter how long it takes me to achieve.
Will have to discuss something with my co-author about possibly setting up a facebook page for our book, basically so we can keep folk up to date with the latest news and how things are progressing. We shall see.
This year is about getting on with editing the first book, getting it upto scratch and sending it off by the end of August, soon as that is done, time for more editing. It is going to be full on and needs commitment from me, which obviously it will get along with job hunting (though I have found volunteer work) and normal home duties, which okay it maybe challenging but I'm not afraid to dive in and get mucky lol.
Okay I'm going to go grab some dinner before finishing reading - Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, which is amazing.
Have a fab week people and I will see you next Saturday x x
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