Stepping into Dean's world

Evening fellow readers/people.

I hope all is well?

I'm (as usual) eating, minstrels this time and drinking grape soda, the grape soda reminds me of chewing gum I used to be hooked on.


Okay, so this week we are not entering my world (I'm sure you've all had enough lol), this time I am taking you into Dean's world. This world is both brilliant and yet sometimes terrifying.
As a toddler he had a fit of some sort, overnight stay in hospital, tests etc, but nothing. It was a one off fit and hasn't had one since. Thing is since then it has ocurred to me on many ocassions did this fit cause some possible imbalance in Dean's brain?
I know that you (yes you) the reader will or may think 'Oh you're over reacting.' Well read on and I shall explain further.
In some ways it is hard to explain, it was (at first) little things like wanting things in certain places and not liking it if they were moved, I couldn't even move them to vac. Anyway that phase passed within 6 months and I thought nothing more of it.
Soon as he went into infants, the worry came creeping back. He refused to do his work or never finished it (I'm not making up excuses, I'm telling you the reader how it was), he would get upset over nothing and scream wildly.
After much pain and constant nagging, he finally decided to pick up the pace a bit, that didn't last for long and continued into Year 4 (juniors), so one to one tuition came into play, to try help his concentration, slowly but surely he has improved and at the mo is only slightly behind where he should be. His attitude to school isn't the problem, it's what he is like at home that get's me rattled.
The slightest thing agitates him, (i know you're all thinking, it's normal kid behaviour, it will pass) and when we tell him off for doing something wrong which he knows is wrong, his face goes red, followed by tears followed by head butting the door or wall, whichever is nearest. Every now and again he will hit himself on the head so hard he loses balance, now he has the routine of either scratching his skin to pieces or slapping his arm so hard even you feel the sting. Bet you are still thinking this is normal, right? Wrong, it doesn't feel normal. And he calls himself every name under the sun when in this mood. Not only does it feel scary it makes you feel helpless.
When he is in this mood, the only way to get through to him is to let him calm down followed by a hug and then having to explain over and over again that he cannot do that to himself because it may cause serious damage, followed by us re-going over what he did wrong and where he should have stopped, Dean has no limits at all when he gets to that stage.
He really is ultra bright but I feel like he is a volcano, waiting to explode at any given time.

I think it was last year, when we took him to the doctors, told him all about what Dean does and the doctor said, it has to be referred by school to a place and he can't do anything, which at the time I thought was a load of hog wash and bull shit. So I left it at that and decided that the 'Pro's' don't seem to know if they are coming or going. Me and Brian will somehow deal with this.

We asked for help and got told to sod off. When we mentioned it to school and his teacher, they shrugged it off too, which is fair play because he never does it at school, only at home.

Music, reading, writing are all my therapies. If only life was so easy, mind you it wouldn't be a challenge then would it???

So you've all glimpsed into a tiny part of Dean's world, I see it alot.

I'm now going to bake a double chocolate cake with orange, another brilliant way to unwind lol.

Thought for the week - Look past the front cover and see what hides beneath, you never quite know what you will find :-)